Sex, Lies and Fake Deaths
Bride: Xiao Yanqin; Bridegroom: Jiang Hong; Third party woman on right: Yu Jia
(Zhejiang Online) December 30, 2011
Five days ago, the Hanzhou married woman Xiao Yanqin chose to end her life. Before she died, she probably never imagined that her life story would be spread all over the Chinese Internet in explosive fashion.
December 25 was the day when Xiao Yanqin registered to marry. On that day this year, she chose death. On December 26, Xiao Yanqin's younger brother posted her final letter on her website. Shortly afterwards, her husband Jiang Hong deleted that letter, but not before her friends copied it and posted elsewhere.
This final letter contains more than 12,000 words about her recent experience. Here is an excerpt:
Sorry, I really cannot stand it anymore.
When I saw the hotel records of him and her during the October First holidays, I knew I couldn't live anymore.
We had just held our wedding ceremony in May. By October, he was staying at hotels with another room. The Happiness sign is still hanging brightly red in our home.
Late 2010, I first read the shady chat session records between him and her, as well as their intimate photos. I can still vividly recall my shock and sorrow, and how I ceaselessly cried at the intersection in front of his office building.
Yet, I believed in his oath and guarantee. When I saw how he tried actively to introduce his friends as prospective boyfriends to her, I naively thought that I had wrongfully blamed them.
But within another couple of days, I saw even shadier chat records between them. In September, he traveled to Tibet. I went directly to her office to see her.
At the time, she said solemnly that he was not her type. I believed her. I was silly enough to tell her that I was going to South Korea during the National Day holidays and I asked her what presents to bring her as thanks for her efforts at our wedding.
On November 11, I saw the chat records during the more recent period. I saw the sexy underwear that he bought her. I saw that they were meeting everyday to eat. I was thoroughly stunned.
He blamed her for everything. He said that she seduced him whereas he was only flirting with her. That night, he hugged me tightly and cried and cried. He swore that I was the only person he loved. How can I not believe him?
But on the afternoon of November 15, a friend sent me the record of their hotel room stays. My heart went dead.
- 2011 October 2, Hangzhou Bisi Hotel Room 425
- 2011 October 3, Thousand Islands Lake Tianqingdao Hotel Room 5509
- 2011 October 4, Thousand Islands Lake Tianqingdao Hotel Room 9312
- 2011 October 5, they returned from Thousand Islands Lake to Hangzhou because it was her younger sister's birthday, so they probably stayed up all night or else with her family.
- 2011 October 6, Hangzhou Moganshan Road Number 691 Hanting Express Hotel Room 8905
I was like a zombie. I listened to your advice and began to talk to him about divorce.
It is a terrible thing when people suddenly fall out, and this was actually happening to me.
In the beginning, I had given up my steady job in Shanghai for his sake and began anew in Hangzhou. But now, I gave up my year-end bonus and my career in order to leave this heartbreaking place of Hangzhou and to let them go ahead with their lives.
But he accused me of domestic violence to my friends, and blamed me totally for the divorce!
He also said that my family was greedy. I only want to say that the heavens know that he was earning just over 1,000 yuan a month, less than me.
He threatened me with taking all our assets.
But no matter how many terrible things he did, I was still thinking of him every second every minute of the day.
I clearly remember the day when we first met in Zhengzhou. On the first day of the inspection, he sent me a text message. Every day afterwards, he followed me and said that he wanted to be my boyfriend.
He dedicated songs to me in front of everybody at the KTV. He took the train every Friday to see me in Shanghai. He kept calling me "Wifey" "Wifey" all the time ...
Dear Elder Sister, I recall how much I deeply loved my husband. These things that are happening now must be some sort of nightmare. The nightmare will end pretty soon, and my dear husband will be back by my side soon.
Dear Elder Sister, I have written an authorization document for my belongings and financial arrangements. It is in the drawer by your bed. Do not bother to argue with him over the jewelry. At first, I wanted to take these keepsakes to the bottom of the ocean with me. Forget it, I have already given my home and my husband to that woman, so let the jewelry by my final bequest.
Please tell Father and Mother not to be sorrowful. Tell me that I left with hope and happiness. This nightmare will end soon, and I will no longer feel any more pain or sorrow.
The micrblogger "The Little Pig Who Is Near To God" posted:
Christmas Eve should have been a happy day. But I did not imagine that while we were being so happy, my friend did something stupid out of desperation.
I did not go online last night. When I got out of bed at noon today, I learned the shocking news. That person who hurt you may not be feeling any guilt even now. He may be only concerned that the affair will affect his gentleman's image. So why did you let someone like that make you hurt yourself?
Before Xiao Qin died, she asked lawyers and the Women's Association: Is there any law against adultery in China?
The lawyer responded that even if they are caught in flagrante delicto, it only means that the economic compensation might be higher. J has threatened her that if she won't receive a cent if she makes the affair public.
Another blogger "Cloud Path" posted:
I am a friend of Xiao Yanqin while she was alive. Ever since she learned that J was unfaithful, she could not sleep or eat well. I texted her every day to send condolences and encouragement.
She left Hangzhou on December 18 and arrived in Guangdong on December 19, taking the bus to Zhuhai. I saw her last on December 15. A friend had a baby, so she bought presents for the child.
Among her friends, she appeared very strong. But as December 25 neared, she became increasingly scared. Even her family didn't realize this. While in Zhuhai, she called me while crying. That was on December 22. It was unable to reach her after that.
Our reporter contacted this microblogger named Li. He and his wife were friends of Xiao Qin and Jiang Hong. He said that he has spoken with Xiao Qin's younger brother, who had rashly posted the final letter on the Internet. He said that the Xiao family was decent and is not looking for economic compensation.
Xiao Qin's father lives in Jiangxi province. Her elder sister is in Zhuhai, her mother is in Shenzhen and her younger brother is in Zhongshan. The family had planned to spend the new year together, but now they are getting together for a funeral.
Xiao Qin hung herself early morning on December 25 in her elder sister's house. She was cremated at the local funeral parlor at 3pm December 26. The family is busy making the final arrangements before returning to Jiangxi.
Mr. Li was incensed about the Internet rumor that the death did not happen. He said that he and other friends are waiting for the local Public Security Bureau to issue the death certificate.
After the Xiao Yanqin affair became an Internet sensation, the netizens were obviously most critical of the husband J (=Jiang Hong). On December 31, Jiang Hong issued an open letter on his website:
Friends and families of Xiao Yanqin, media friends and netizen friends:
I send you regards.
On the morning of December 26, 2011, I received a text message from a friend that Xiao Yanqin has left us, has left this world. This was like a thunderbolt coming on a clear day. I really cannot accept the fact. Even now I cannot really believe that she is gone.
Over the past few days, I have been submerged in sorrow and suffering. The overwhelming media coverage has almost suffocated me. But no matter how difficult this is going to be, I still have to explain a few things to everybody.
1. I and my family express our deep sorrow about the passing away of my former wife Xiao Yanqin. I sincerely express condolences to the family of Xiao Yanqin.
2. I met Xiao Yanqin in May 2008. We registered for marriage in December 2009. We held our wedding in May this year. Due to emotional incompatibility, we were divorced in November 2011. If necessary, I can disclose the contents of the divorce agreement subject to the approval of the family of Xiao Yanqin.
3. Not everything about the final letter of Xiao Yanqin as reported by the media is true. I find this regrettable. I hope that the media and the netizens will not make any comments without verifying the facts first. This case has caused great damage to me, my family members, the family members of Xiao Yanqin, and Ms. Yu and her family. The deceased person is gone. The survivors have lost their jobs, and do not even have basic guarantees on their own personal safety.
4. Prior to this statement, I have not made any comments on this affair on the Internet or any other public place. I hope that the media and those who are concerned about this affair can rationally, objectively and fairly discuss this case.
December 31, 2011
The third party woman named Yu then made a post on her own webpage at 13:49 on December 30:
Dear father and mother, your impious daughter has to leave you.
You are the best parents in the world, but I was never a pious daughter. I felt really guilty when I saw father trembling in anger and mother sleepless all night.
You are the people that I want the most to protect, so I kept it away from you before. I was wrong. You should just consider that you never gave birth to me.
After learning the death of Xiao Yanqin, I couldn't sleep or eat. I did not know how to respond.
I felt very guilty. Xiao Yanqin, I am sorry. I will say everything when I see you. I remember that you said that if you should divorce, you will still not let us and our two families have good times.
You wait for me. One life for another life. I also hope that my death will let people treat this case more rationally. I was wrong indeed, but this has nothing to do with my parents and friends. Please do not hurt them.
Sorry! J, please live well and take good care of your parents.
On the evening of December 29, someone who claimed to be Jiang Hong's elder sister posted what is purported to be her brother's final letter:
Like Xiao Yanqin, I can't take it anymore. I am exhausted from making explanations! It does not matter what I say because nobody will believe me. They think that I am lying. Who can understand my sorrow?
I don't know when Yanqin began to suspect that I have an improper relationship with Y. Any communication between us was treated as dubious. He said that I and Y stayed at a hotel, but we really didn't. Because the room prices were too expensive, we rented a suite but we slept separately. I and Y are innocent.
I have tried to stop communicating with Y, but Yanqin remained suspicious. She said that I was acting guilty. Every day she picked fights with me. Sometimes she threw fits and tossed stuff at me. I was really tired.
Therefore I chose to divorce her. But I never imagined that she would kill herself, so that I became a sinner. I tried to explain, but nobody wants to listen or believe me. Could it be that my death is the only way to prove my innocence?
On January 2, 2012, Beijing Television aired an interview with Xiao Yanqin. This interview was recorded after her 'death' on December 25, 2011.
(ciciren.com) During the interview, Xiao Yanqin said: "After I left the final letter to my friends and family on December 24, I reallytried to commit suicide. I said that I was going to take a bath. I took my clothes in which I had hidden my silk scarf. I hung myself. But my elder sister was very alert. She came knocking on the door to call for me."
Xiao Yanqin said that her family wanted her to live, so they announced her death and took her away from Zhuhai. During the past few days, Xiao Yanqin had been lying still in bed while her mother took care of her like a baby. Then she learned of what was happening on the Internet. "A number of strangers wanted to arrange for a Seventh Day memorial service. I thought that this was going too far and crazy."
Xiao Yanqin looked into the camera and apologized. "I sincerely want to say that I am very very sorry. Really, I am deeply guilty of letting everybody down. You can scold me anyway you want. I fully accept it, but I don't want people to blame my family."
When the news of the resurrection of Xiao Yanqin became known, many netizens suspected that she was exploiting the masses to take revenge against Jiang Hong and Yu Jia: "Isn't she using us? She deliberately published a final letter, and then used us to attack her former husband and the interloper so as to actualize her revenge." But other netizens suspect that the whole "resurrection act" was a hoax: "This was a colossal battle in which we were turned every which way. Did they hire an Internet promoter/marketer to plan and execute this?"
(Tianya) Jiang Hong's response to the news that Xiao Yanqin did not actually commit suicide. December 2, 2012.
Things have taken a strange turn, in which you and I are mere passersby. Are we idiots?
Upon learning that the death of my former wife Xiao Yanqin was faked, the sorrow in my previous statement has completely vanished. I only have anger against the various lowly, vicious ways in which her team used to smear and attack me and my people after the formal divorce agreement was signed on December 18. I strong deplore them and I am also deeply shocked by the abrupt personality change in Xiao Yanqin. I will now clarify the relevant circumstances to those netizens who are paying attention to this case.
1. The whole affair was directed by Xiao Yanqin and her team behind the scene. In order to take revenge and smear me, Xiao Yanqin and her team carefully planned and wrote a <Final Letter> with inflammatory and seriously inaccurate content to make her seem like a model wife and me an unfaithful husband.
2. Upon designing the <Final Letter>, she created the false impression of suicide and issued information about her death and subsequent cremation. This won the sympathy and trust of many righteous netizens who don't know the truth, and they went ahead to attack me, my parents, my friends and Ms. Yu on the Internet and in real life. During the process, her team behind the scene released a series of false information (such as the fictional elder sister of Jiang Hong who published his final letter) in order to ensure that the campaign against me spreads nationwide. The victims were defenseless with great damange on their work, personal live, and personal safety. Our privacy was violated, our reputations were damaged and our lives were disrupted.
3. Because my friends were suspicious about the veracity of her suicide and therefore searching to confirm through many channels, Xiao Yanqin realized that she would no longer be able to cover up the truth. By then she had already accomplished her goal to smear me. Now she is trying to use Beijing Television to whitewash herself and continue to mislead the public with her lies.
Finally I want to say this: My marital relationship with Xiao Yanqin was already dead even before the formal divorce. We were already emotionally apart. All our misgivings and responsibilities were dissolved once the Divorce Agreement document was signed. Everybody should be responsible for their own actions. My former wife Xiao Yanqin and her team behind the scene should accept responsibility for their actions.