The Soccer Game Report From Chongqing

(Southern Metropolis Daily via  Do Him!  Do Him!  Chongqing is a city that 'does' stuff.  By Zhang Xiaozhou.  February 22, 2008.

Chongqing is a city that 'does' stuff.

The ambiguous verb "do" carries the juxtaposition of "humor" with "malice."  Here in Chongqing, the tall elevated bridges straddle the old city wall, a Michelangelo muscle man stands guard over the Great Changjiang Bridge, an electronic musical keyboard accompanies three classical er'wu string instruments in the tea house at the ceramics village dated from the Song dynasty, the temple festivals on the river shore shake to the beat of "We will ... we will rock you ...

This ambiguous verb also refers to women "doing" men.  Every day, someone slips various business cards underneath your hotel room door.  Some of them are titled "university business centers" that will provide you with exquisite, romantic female university students.  A company named Xinsilu announced: "Our company has a constant supply of virgins."

There does not seem to be any other city that carries as many "male advertisements" on television -- more precisely, one should say that these are advertisements about the "male member" as the number of advertisements about the male member has an overwhelming advantage over those of female breast enhancement.  During the commercial breaks at the East Asian Top Four Soccer tournament, you will hear the wailing in the advertisements -- "the shame of men, the sadness of men ..." In one commercial, the wife complaints to her mother-in-law that the husband was 'useless.'  The old lay shivered a bit and then suddenly realized the Truth about Life and the Meaning of the Revolution.  Meanwhile, her pathetic son has sneaked up stealthily behind the door to eavesdrop on this conversation.  He shows the shame of someone who betrayed the Revolution.  The commercial then rubs it in: "Even if you talk in low voices, people will find out about certain things!" The implication is clear:  You better hurry over to our "male reproductive health clinic" or else you might just as well die.

You need to have infinite tolerance to endure the barrage of these television commercials.  Chongqing seems to be a female city.  Or perhaps one should say that there are certain role reversals: the women have sharper tongues than the men and the women are more capable than the men.  In the movie, Cheng Zimin's movie <A Floating Life>, this was expressed by the lovely night scene by Jialing river in which a tall building carried these illuminated letters on top: "Strive For Excellence Middle School" (note: this has the double entendre of "Ask for Sperm Middle School").  If you don't want to have to go back to the "Male Reproductive Health Hospital" when you grow up, you better apply to the "Strive for Excellence Middle School."  This has become the totem pole for masculinity here.

So now you understand why Chongqing has become the home of the "hard-on," why the Chongqing fans need to yell "Get it up!" and why there is the need for several tens of thousands of men to gather and yell "Get it up!" in unison.  For the purpose of suppressing the fan hostility against the Japanese team, the event organizing committee intentionally raised signs such as "Polite Chongqing, Sincere Chongqing" at the China-Japan game.  However, there was no denying that the true slogan for the city of Chongqing was "Get it up, Chongqing!

This city has lost its Super League team, but is the desolate Datianwan being displaced by the Olympic Center?  How many years pass before it will get a chance to host an Asian cup or East Asian Top Four tournament?  The attendance figures at the China-South Korea and the China-Japan games were around 60% of capacity.  Following the consecutive defeats suffered by the Chinese team, it seemed that the East Asian Top Four tournament was over before it officially ended, as how many fans would pay to see the chicken wishbone at the end ... even though it is a chicken wishbone with a hard-on?

"The prostate problem was turned over to Edward (note: the name of a hospital)."  So the "hard-on" problem should be turned over to "I love China."  Understandably, the Chongqing fans love China and they booed the Japanese team.  They did not boo the Chinese team.  Instead, they only booed Xie Yalong sitting in the VIP booth and demanded his resignation.  So that was quite gentlemanly.  So the Olympic Center will now lapse back into a long silence.  The fleeting moment for the Chongqing fans to have fun and to release their anger came and went.  So where will the Chongqing men go to get a "hard-on"?  Neither the sauna centers nor the hospitals seemed appropriate.

The urban image of Chongqing has slowly turned from soccer to cinema.  But you can watch <Crazy Stones> only so many times.  How about going to the marriage agency?  There is a marriage agency by Jialing river with a huge sign promising -- "100,000 RMB in compensation if false.

When Li Weifeng clashed with the members of the other team, the spectators yelled "Do him!  Do him!  Do him!"  "Do him" is the extension and realization of the spirit of "getting a hard-on."  No matter against the South Koreans, the Japanese, or the widely condemned Chinese Football Association, the fans of Chongqing can only "do them."

(Chongqing Evening News via Cat989)

Recently, <Southern Metropolis Daily> published the essay <Do him! Do him!> in which the author Zhang Xiaozhou used an almost perverse technique to slur the people, history, culture and even "gender roles" of the city of Chongqing.  The article was biased and slanted in a way that smears Chongqing.  This had upset the citizens of Chongqing and elsewhere.  A joint notice of condemnation has been issued by more than 20 websites including Dayu, Hualong, Danhong, Chongqing Life Forum, Tianya and others.

... The aforementioned essay was published on page A24 of <Southern Metropolis Daily> on February 22.  The title was <Do him!  Do him!>.  As of yesterday afternoon, the essay can still be viewed on the website of Southern Metropolis Daily.  Many other popular websites also published this essay.  The essay writer is Zhang Xiaozhou and he may have been in Chongqing a few days ago.  According to people at Southern Metropolis Daily, Zhang Xiaozhou is a media columnist/writer and he has written music reviews before.

At Hualong Net, the condemnation note said: Zhang Xiaozhou used the excuse of the East Asia Top Four Tournament as the pretext and wrote the essay titled <Do him!  Do him!> about his observations.  In this bizarre essay, Zhang was filled with bile and he employed a large number of almost perverse hints and suggestions to smear the people, history, culture and even "gender roles" in the city of Chongqing.  This essay was a biased project that smeared the image of Chongqing.

The note continued: Since the essay writer is a so-called "renowned sports journalist" in China, the essay was carried at the various portals and forums.  This has resulted in grave damage and distortion to the image of Chongqing and its people.  Therefore, we the following websites band together to condemn Zhang Xiaozhou and the relevant personnel at Southern Metropolis Daily.  We demand that Southern Metropolis Daily retract this inappropriate essay, severely deal with the writer Zhang Xiaozhou and apologize in Southern Metropolis Daily as well as the major websites and forums.

After the note was published, the various websites attempted to contact the relevant personnel at Southern Metropolis Daily and Zhang Xiaozhou.  As of yesterday afternoon at 6pm, no one has made any responses.  After the note was published yesterday afternoon, more and more websites signed up.  As of yesterday afternoon 6pm, 22 websites had signed up.  More are expected to sign up this morning.


The citizens of Chongqing have begun lawsuits against Southern Metropolis Daily and Zhang Xiaozhou in order to use legal means to force apologies.  The first lawsuit was on behalf of the <Strive for Excellence Middle School> and the second lawsuit was on behalf of the 32 million people of Chongqing.  The lawsuits have three demands: (1) The two defendants must apologize to the plaintiffs in Southern Metropolis Daily, China Education News, Chongqing Daily News, Chongqing Evening News, Hualong Net, Dayu Net and other media.  The content of the apology is subject to the approval of the plaintiffs.  (2) The defendants shall compensate the plaintiffs by the amount of one RMB for damages.  (3) The defendants will pick up all the legal expenses.

In the first case, Zhang Xiaozhou wrote a commentary with very vulgar language and deliberately distorted the meaning of <Strive for Excellence Middle School> and damaged its reputation.  The Southern Metropolis editors and managers were negligent because they allowed this prejudicial essay to slip through and be published.  As a result, the school suffered irreparable damage.

(Southern Metropolis Daily)  Apology notice.  February 26, 2008.

On February 22, our page A24 published the sports commentary <Do him!  Do him!>, which made inappropriate sarcastic remarks about Chongqing and specific Chongqing organizations.  This has resulted in damage to the images of the city of Chongqing and its people.  We solemnly apologize to the citizens of Chongqing, the relevant organizations and our readers.