Apple Daily Interviews Hinano Mizuki

"Hinano Mizuki" is one of the top search keywords here (see Comment 200609#028) on account of this post Hinano Mizuki: The Case for Internet Censoring in China.  Here is the interview in Apple Daily (Taiwan).

Question:  Why did you become an AV actress?  Did that experience trouble you?

Answer: In Japan, an AV actress is just like a regular actress, model or hotel attendant.  There are many AV actresses.  Nobody will treat them as unusual.  Soon after I arrived in Japan, my boyfriend for seven years found a new lover.  My Taiwanese grandparents lost their billiard room.  I had nothing.  In order to earn money to improve my circumstances, I became an AV actress.

I was not popular the first year.  I switched agency the next year and adopted the new name of Hinano Mizuki (觀月雛乃).  I accepted any kind of role, including drinking urine, eating feces and everything else.  Then I became popular.  In two to three years' time, I earned more than NT$10 million.  I was even a middle-level manager with the company.  When I had free time, I went shopping and soaked myself in spas.  I even hired a Taiwanese student to be my maid.  I enjoyed life every day.

When I came back to Taiwan, I ended up in the entertainment field by chance.  I have no idea how people found out that I used to be an AV actress.  Maybe the A-movie producers talked!  The name "Hinano Mizuki" troubles me a lot.  Men only want to know my body and nobody wants to understand my mind.  I am lonely even if I have a boyfriend.  I have depression.  My mood swings wildly.  I am emotionally unstable, so I often want to kill myself.  I need sleeping pills and sedatives to go to sleep every day.

Question:  What are your views about love and sex?  Did you experience a fervent love?

Answer: My relationships with men are explorations for me.  When my mother gave birth to me, she left immediately to run a small bar in Japan.  I have no idea who my father is.  I was brought up by my maternal grandparents.  Since I lack fatherly love, I have an Electra complex and I am stubborn about loving.  When I meet someone that I really like, I will give everything up for it, including my life.

In a romance, I may have love first then sex, or I may have sex first then love.  Sometimes, I like a person but the FEEL in bed is wrong.  Other times, the FEEL in bed is right but I don't like him.  It is hard to have the right person, the right FEEL and the right timing.  Sex is just a habit to me.  The look of the man is unimportant.  But if the FEEL in bed is wrong, it is hard to sustain the relationship.

In Japan, I fell in love with a man who is twenty years older than me.  He is gentle and loving, but he is married with child.  He never took his family to Disneyland, but he took me there.  He even wore a suit to take a photograph with me.  But his wife found out about us, and we had to split up.  I was deeply hurt.  I took more than 30 sleeping pills and I was ready to slit my wrists.  But he saved me.

Question: How do you view yourself and men?  What is your view of the future?

Answer: Men are animals who think with the bottom half of their bodies, and they don't do what they say.  On one hand, they watch your A-films; on the other hand, they despise you inside.  They love me and they hate me.  They can treat me like a queen and give me everything that I want.  They can also hurt me and beat me.  Once I was in a jealous fit, I smashed my boyfriend's mobile telephone in front of everybody and I slapped him.  But I have also been beaten such that I ended up with a concussion.

Many men think that I am good looking and I have a good figure.  But I feel that I am ugly.  It is just a job to make A-films or be an entertainer.  Many girls are jealous of me because I am slim.  But that is because I suffer from depression and I have no appetite.  I ask them not to imitate me.  My friends all say that I am a "naive big sister" who is strong on the exterior and weak inside.  Actually, I am just a "little girl" who longs for the tender care and concern of men.  Why is that so hard to get?

Since returning to Taiwan, I have earned very little money.  My life is not happy.  My new book "AV convenience store" is not selling well.  Compared to what I did in Japan, I have accomplished nothing here.  But I still have longings about love.  When I made the AV films, it was my choice.  I have no regrets.  Look at Shu Qi.  She is a lot better now than before.  I also hope that my day will come soon.