A Restaurant in Changsha

The restaurant is named
問客殺雞 which is translated
word for word: "Ask the customer, kill the chicken"

If you can recite Jiang Zemin's Three Representatives,
you can have one free order of steamed eggs!
(Blogger's comment: I am dying from laughter!
Obviously, if I had just mumbled something or the other,
they would have gladly given me my steamed eggs!)

Any customer who came over by ferry from the east
bank of the river, please leave behind your home address
and we will send a bright and beautiful banner with the
words "Champion in assisting the poor" to your home.

To all the men who walked past this restaurant
during meal times without stopping:
we will shoot your horses with arrows
or we will throw rocks at you

Reasons to eat at this restaurant:
1. We only plunder; we won't rape
2. All employees belong to social vulnerable
groups and are trustworthy
3. This restaurant only accepts RMB
4. This restaurant does not practice
racial segregation
5. The tastes of this restaurant do not
deviate from the people

Report concerning meal price adjustments
To: All gourmets
From: All the workers at this enterprise
Date: March 13, 2004
Facts: Recently, prices for everything
(rice, cooking oil, meat, vegetables) have
increased dramatically beyond what we
can bear.  But we have considered your feelings
and so we try our best not to raise prices
(even though our boss often cries at home).
If we should ever be unable to hold back,
we will report to you again and ask you to
sign, seal and stamp to acknowledge.  Thanks.
God is almighty, and He won't let us down.

A Poem (author: our Executive Officer)
When you enter here
With your non-forged currency bills
At that moment, we go into a swoon
We watch you mop up the food
Then we know it is time to collect the money
We watch your fading shadow
Oh!  Our good gourmet,
When will you come back?
Perhaps ...
Perhaps ...

The following types of people eating at this
enterprise will be assessed an additional 20%
service charge:
1. Those who talk business when they eat
2. Those who wear western suits and ties,
and look better than our own CEO
3. Those who dine without putting food
in the ladies' plates
4. Those who won money from playing
5. Those who bought new cars but don't
say anything about it

Our restaurant will continue with our
"Four Insistences":
1. We insist on not giving discounts
2. We insist on not accepting American dollars
3. We insist on not selling foreign rice
4. We insist on keeping our own tastes

P.S.  If I had gone there, I would left them
a US$20 bill and said that I don't have anything else.
And then we would have a good laugh together.